[Good Data Analysis) Let’s Explore the Parallel Theory of the Wellmart High School Girl Hunter and WA! Skeleton!
Today, I analyzed the commonalities between the high school girl hunter, protagonist of the recent Wellmart Gate incident, and WA! Skeleton!
High School Girl Hunter WA!
Does she usually hide her power? O O
Does blue light emanate from her eyes? O O
Is she incredibly strong? O O
Is she utterly badass? O O
Is she a beautiful girl? O X
Does she make others have a terrible time? X O
Does she have skin? O X
By a score of 6:5, a hard-won victory for the High School Girl Hunter!
Comments (63)
└What nonsense.
└Please stop uploading such trash.
└LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
└WA-go-saeng (TL Note: A portmanteau of ‘WA!’ and ‘high school student’) is utterly badass.
└Scary story) WA! is already 15 years old.
└It was 10 years ago, damn it.
└Shoutout to the hunter-bro who actually searched it, thinking it was 15 years ago, LOL.
└Why is ‘Does she have skin?’ even on there? LOLOLOL.
└It’s part of the original meme.
└That’s truly ‘skull’-splitting! (TL Note: A pun, ‘gol ttaerine’ meaning ‘head-splitting’ or ‘annoying’, playing on the ‘skull’ aspect of WA! Skeleton!)
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[Severe Depression) So where’s that front-facing shot of the ‘beautiful’ WA-go-saeng?????]
Where’s the front shot? Where’s the front shot? Where’s the front shot? Where’s the front shot? Where’s the front shot? Where’s the front shot?
Comments (5)
└They’re using their ‘mental illness shield’ again. Why are you looking for leaked photos of a minor, let alone a civilian?
└I hope you get sued.
└This pathetic loser has already been sued three times, LOL.
└Still doing it even after paying fines; they’re truly pathetic.
└Don’t feed the troll.
[Anonymous) Posting a front-facing photo of WA-go-saeng LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL]
(A truly disgusting image that makes you dizzy upon seeing it)
Why are you searching for high school girls so much, you pervert? LOLOLOL.
Go rub your struggling mother’s shoulders in the inner room (TL Note: ‘Anbang’ refers to the main bedroom, often associated with the mother’s domestic space), LOLOL.
Comments (10)
└I can’t be the only one fooled. Upvote this so everyone else falls for it too.
└Immediately upvoted, damn it.
└You son of a b*tch, how could you post such a terrible image?
└After reading this post, I immediately went to the inner room (TL Note: ‘Anbang’ refers to the main bedroom, often associated with the mother’s domestic space) and showed filial piety.
└I’ve checked all the galleries, there are no leaked front shots. Stop falling for it, LOL.
└Then why do so many people say she’s pretty?
└The original post said she could slap a goddess silly.
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“Ah, damn it.”
While searching to see how much information about me had been leaked, I was subjected to all sorts of psychological torment and visual assaults myself.
‘I’m WA-go-saeng myself, so why am I being trolled too?’
After my search, it seemed no videos had been leaked, only two photos.
“My face doesn’t seem to have been exposed, at least.”
Fortunately, both photos were taken from behind, with my face not visible.
The problem was that I possessed a distinctive physique, recognizable even from a rear view.
└Wow, they took a photo from behind in that pose and you can see her side-boob, wow…
└You pervert, she’s a high school student!
└Goodbye, LOLOL. Messing with a minor in South Korea?
└You’re going to get sued.
└Sir, please hold your breath for 30 minutes.
└But I admit, her body proportions are insane. Is that even a human body?
└Seriously, she’s gorgeous just from the back. I can practically see her face.
└Why did her character customization window open by itself? LOL. It’s like she adjusted her own proportions like a game character.
└Only I can customize my appearance.
└WA-go-saeng is utterly badass…
Taking off my padded jacket because it was uncomfortable to move wasn’t the right choice.
If I had kept the padded jacket on, my figure wouldn’t have been revealed.
‘Surely, even so, they can’t identify someone just from a rear view, can they?’
“WA!”
As the first post revealed, a truly terrible meme had attached itself to me.
My nickname, ‘WA-go-saeng,’ stemmed from the fact that I had emitted a ghostly aura (TL Note: ‘Gwigi’ refers to a demonic or ghostly energy) similar in color to ‘WA! Skeleton!’ from a game released ten years ago.
The two photos showed me cleaving an ogre in two with a single strike, captured from behind, and me unleashing a Ghost Slash (TL Note: ‘Gwicham’ is a skill name, likely involving a ghostly or spiritual attack) on a swarm of monster rats.
Indeed, the blue ghostly aura was quite striking.
“How did they know blue light emanates from my eyes?”
Initially, hearing that made me jump, thinking a front-facing photo of me had been leaked.
However, it seemed the detail about blue light from my eyes was only mentioned in text.
Though the original post had been deleted and could no longer be found, it appeared to have caused a significant stir online.
Today’s Gate incident: a sudden Gate appearing in a bustling downtown area of Seoul, casualties involved, and the mysterious high school girl hunter who emerged there.
‘Even I can tell it contains all the elements to become a major issue.’
“A ‘hard-won victory,’ they say.”
The problem was that ‘WA! Skeleton!’ was a meme used to mock the toxic ‘jaem-min-i’ (TL Note: A Korean slang term referring to immature children, often used for annoying young gamers) fandom of the game back then.
It was a meme that poked fun at elementary schoolers who constantly spammed phrases like, ‘Oh, you know Skeleton! He’s super strong!’ and ‘Skeleton would win against them too, wouldn’t he? Do you want to have a terrible time?’ even in unrelated content.
Of course, even I, an elementary school student at the time, had participated in the spamming.
But I never imagined that meme would survive for over a decade and come back to haunt me.
My meme, now combined with ‘WA! Skeleton!,’ was so cringeworthy it was making me have a terrible time.
“I’ve only done good deeds, so why do I have to burn in hell?!”
I pulled out Yodo, the Ghost Slasher, and attempted to negotiate.
“Hey, can’t you change the flame color to something like red or purple?”
‘What’s going on all of a sudden?’
‘It’s common knowledge in this field that ghost flames are blue.’
“You can’t even change that? You incompetent fool.”
‘I am not a Christmas light.’
‘If you need colored bulbs, look elsewhere.’
‘How does the guy from the Tower even know about Christmas?’
‘This guy surprisingly knows a lot about Earth, doesn’t he?’
‘He doesn’t know what he should, and knows what he shouldn’t.’
‘Strange fellow.’
‘I need to go beat up that guy first.’
The guy who slyly took photos of my back and uploaded them online without permission.
Normally, I’d have to go through filing a police report, an investigation, attending hearings, and discussing whether to settle or apologize before I could even meet the culprit.
Instead, I immediately called the Hunter Agency official’s number.
“Sir, the Hunter Agency is the organization that handles these kinds of cleanups, right?”
With such proactive cooperation, I was able to reunite with that jerk two hours later.
“You said you deleted everything! Why are my photos still circulating?!”
“I…”
The man wore a profoundly dejected expression.
‘Then why did you do something that would make you so dejected?’
‘Go on, out with it.’
“I believed the heroic actions of the Firefighter and the Hunter shouldn’t be buried. I uploaded the photos to prove I was involved in the incident. I’m sorry.”
“Huh?”
‘I just experienced an amazing incident, wanna hear about it?’
‘I’ll send 500 upvoted posts and farm attention sweet and easy.’
‘So it wasn’t the mindset of an attention seeker?’
It wasn’t a forced excuse; the man’s expression was unusually grave.
“The words, ‘What you lack isn’t weapons or talent, but conscience,’ resonated deeply. After hearing them, I was too ashamed to lift my head. Not because they were insulting, but because they were true. ‘I’m just a civilian, someone will save me.’ I was so mortified by my own presumption.”
The man suddenly began to weep.
I was somewhat taken aback.
‘I have a weakness for men’s tears.’
When a woman cries, I simply think, ‘Oh, she’s crying again,’ but when a man cries, it makes me flustered, wondering, ‘Huh, was the situation so dire that he’d actually cry?’
‘Did I make him cry?’
At the time, I was so furious that I blurted out every thought without a filter.
Later, however, it occurred to me that it was only natural for an ordinary person to be frightened by monsters.
I was simply an exceptionally unusual case.
Because of my Martial God’s Physique.
Having showered in the enemies’ blood, I hadn’t felt an ounce of fear, to the point where the paramedics mistook me for a living corpse.
I had merely been worried about failing to save Young-soo and angered that the Firefighter had taken the brunt of the fight, sustaining severe injuries.
It was the Firefighter who was remarkable for leaping into the midst of monsters alone; the others, who froze in fear and did nothing, were not at fault.
It was simply a regrettable situation.
“Ah, I understand. Yes.”
Just then, the Hunter Agency official, having received a call from somewhere, interjected with good news.
“Fortunately, the Firefighter has passed the critical stage.”
“Really?”
“That’s a relief.”
“In truth, recovery through surgery would have been difficult, but a high-ranking Hunter, who learned the full story of the incident, used a top-grade potion.”
Top-grade potions, rarely obtained from the Tower, could cure most ailments on Earth, making them priceless.
To think a high-ranking Hunter would offer such a thing for a firefighter.
It was an unbelievable act of kindness, a heartwarming tale.
“After seeing the vivid accounts of the scene online, that Hunter felt compelled to save this man and thus donated the potion.”
“Seriously? You’re not conspiring with this man, are you?”
‘The picture being painted is just too perfect.’
‘It’s almost enough to make me suspect foul play.’
“What benefit would I gain by lying for a stranger?”
An unbelievable event had occurred.
There was a man who sacrificed himself for others.
Another person, moved by his good deed, selflessly offered their treasure to save him.
‘Can such a heartwarming story truly exist in this era?’
“Personally, I feel incredibly proud. It’s proof that goodwill and justice still thrive in people’s hearts.”
The official clearly adored this heartwarming anecdote.
“In that spirit, how about working with our Hunter Agency?”
“I said no.”
Low pay, danger, and ridicule as a pushover instead of honor.
‘Who on earth would work for the Hunter Agency under those conditions?’
‘Though he probably didn’t intend for this to happen.’
‘The man didn’t do a good deed, or did he? Was it a good deed?’
This man was burning with a sense of mission, wanting to immediately publicize the Firefighter’s sacrifice.
Thus, he uploaded a detailed account of his experience online.
He even posted my secretly taken and hidden photos to gain credibility.
Thanks to him, a certain Hunter was moved and saved the Firefighter with a precious potion.
The only victim was me, saddled with the WA-go-saeng meme.
It was trolling meant to alleviate his own guilt, yet the outcome couldn’t have been more superb.
I, too, had wanted to save the Firefighter.
But all I could do was pray.
This man saved him.
“Alright, fine, let’s just let it go. Can a true man be petty about every little thing?”
A good outcome doesn’t rationalize every process.
This time, however, the result was exceptionally good, to the point of being an exception.
The official looked at me with an expression that asked, ‘Who exactly is the ‘true man’ here?’
“Thinking ‘sanai’ (TL Note: A Korean term for a ‘true man’ or ‘manly man’) can only be used for men is gender discrimination.”
“So, can ‘agassi’ (TL Note: A Korean term for a young lady or miss) also be used for men?”
“Yes.”
“You’re very open-minded. It’s hard to keep up with young people these days.”
And so, the incident of my photos being leaked concluded in a rather heartwarming way.
****
After hearing the news of the Firefighter’s survival, the feeling of blockage that had weighed heavily on my heart somewhat lessened.
While the Firefighter’s sacrifice was undeniably great, I couldn’t emulate it, nor did I aspire to.
However, I did come to one realization.
That was: people must be strong.
If I had been stronger, no one would have died, and the Firefighter wouldn’t have been injured.
Until now, I had climbed the Tower for fun and grown stronger for fun.
But from now on, I decided to train with genuine earnestness.
Tang Ding Ding Dong Dong Tang Ding—
‘A man must make himself strong.’
Playing the theme song from a famous Hong Kong martial arts movie, I began my training.
“Ha!”
Thump, thump, thump! Thump, thump, thump!
Then, an angry resident from the floor below pounded on the ceiling.
‘They say inter-floor noise can even lead to murder.’
‘It seems my home isn’t the best place to practice martial arts.’
‘It’s troublesome to practice secret techniques outside.’
I possessed three treasures that I had received but was letting languish.
Azure Dragon Heart Sutra, Dragon Claw Fist, and Black Dragon Claw.
The Azure Dragon Heart Sutra was a mental cultivation technique for accumulating internal energy in the dantian (TL Note: An energy center in the body), Dragon Claw Fist was a martial art fought with claws or gauntlets, and Black Dragon Claw was a weapon, a gauntlet worn over the hand to scratch like claws.
Of course, I had received all of these through a ‘somaeneoki’ (TL Note: A Korean slang term for a stealthy, unsolicited gift, often from an experienced player to a new player) from an old-timer on the Miscellaneous Weapons Gallery.
A user with the fixed nickname Dragonkiller.
I felt a bit sorry for them.
‘I could quickly grasp the advantages of other weapons, but I just couldn’t figure out claws.’
‘Let me reiterate, I am not a freeloader who takes things and discards them.’
‘It’s Dragonkiller’s fault for choosing such a garbage weapon as their main.’
‘Of course, if I openly insulted claws in front of them, they might come tearing me to shreds.’
‘But what’s not right isn’t right.’
Among the weapons I possessed, however, there seemed to be nothing better for improving my own body’s specs than training with the Azure Dragon Heart Sutra and Dragon Claw Fist.
So, having resolved to be serious, I decided to practice them.
‘But where should I practice?’
It needed to be a private space where no one could see me.
Searching online, I found a suitable place.
“An idol dance practice room? This place seems fine for running around.”
The price was also within a reasonable range.
I decided to visit it.
