Chapter 3: If Mangdol Returns Three Times (3)

I subtly started influencing my father, who had begun dabbling in stocks around this time.

Eight years later, my father would lose about 30 million won in stocks and declare that asset management should solely consist of savings accounts and pensions.

But back then, he was still part of the older generation who believed they were quite good at financial planning.

I didn’t know how much of a variable the butterfly effect of my existence would be on the future, but I originally had no talent for games like chess or Go that required thinking far ahead.

Deal with the immediate problem first, always.

Tap dance away before the fire reaches your feet.

That was my motto and personal philosophy.

It was important to gain my father’s trust by encouraging short-term stock trading, making him think, ‘Is our son actually a financial whiz?’

It wasn’t like being a shaman; just saying things like, ‘Father, I suddenly had a thought that this stock will do well this year,’ would only make him wonder if his son, who had previously been mindlessly set on becoming an idol, was sick.

Starting with “I overheard some company people talking,” and repeating things like “Just try buying it once, treat it as if you’re being tricked,” at the breakfast table for a week seemed to work.

My father had actually bought the stocks I mentioned.

This meant that if those stocks really went up as I remembered, the financial damage incurred from unilaterally quitting the trainee life could be somewhat mitigated.

Since I had nothing more to lose, I succeeded in cutting ties with the clinging agency, which kept asking, “You’re in the debut team, are you really going to do this?”, by bringing along my mother, who had adopted the “Our child wants to quit, you know” stance.

I hadn’t realized it before, but looking again with the mentality of a twenty-six-year-old who had rolled around the idol scene enough, the contract contained quite a few unreasonable clauses.

This industry is often like that, but it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Beyond myself, I ended up disappointing my parents, who had supported me in both my previous life and this current one.

Every time my mom’s phone ringtone was Overflash’s title track, which hadn’t even made it into the top 100 music charts, I felt embarrassed and sorry, so as I got older, the frequency with which I called her first gradually decreased.

I really have to succeed in this life.

Somehow, I will succeed and become a son who expresses filial piety through capital.

“Son, should we eat dinner out? How about sushi?”

“Deal. Buy me the special assorted sushi.”

Instead of asking what I would do next or scolding me saying she knew this would happen, my mother linked arms with me and confidently led me out of the unknown small agency.

From the landing of the stairs leading down to the practice room, I heard the voice of the future drunk driver chasing after me, calling out, “Hyeonoh hyung!” – he must have been skipping practice – but I desperately pretended not to hear.

Goodbye, you time bombs.

Let’s never meet again in this life.

“I’m planning to go to Saesom.”

It was at the breakfast table.

My father, who had been hearing his son talk about quitting being a trainee to study and become a civil servant for a while, spat out the cold water he was drinking because his son suddenly declared he would enter a major entertainment agency as a trainee again.

My mother dramatically exclaimed it was dirty and threw a dishcloth, making the scene look like something out of a sitcom.

“It’s only been a week since you quit being a trainee.”

“Right, so I’m thinking of auditioning for Saesom soon.”

I have to do it before I lose my touch.

My father started choking, and instead of him, my mother put on a rarely seen strict expression.

It seemed she found it unreliable that I was turning back to the idol path after quitting because it was hard, having done it for four years.

“Didn’t you say you were quitting being a trainee to focus on school? You said you’d become a civil servant.”

Of course, it was true I had persuaded my parents with that excuse… but that was just talk to put out the fire at my feet.

Night self-study sessions were starting to feel agonizing.

After attending school classes for a week, the conclusion I reached was this: Dancing is 200 times easier than the set theory propositions in the ‘Math Essentials’ textbook.

People have aptitudes, and while God gave me a second life, He didn’t give me a head for studying.

Only after making a non-oath oath that I would try the Saesom audition just once, and if I really failed, I would genuinely get my act together, study, and get into a university in the metropolitan area, did my parents nod.

They seemed to think their child was going through puberty and being incredibly fickle.

Honestly, I wasn’t confident I could get into a major entertainment company like Saesom based on skill alone.

It was uncertain whether Ji Cheonseong would even be at Saesom, and even if he was there, I had no futile belief that he, as a fellow trainee, would help me get in.

About 90% of my reason for trying the Saesom audition stemmed from the stubborn thought, ‘But I still rolled in the industry for 6 years,’ and 10% stemmed from the madness born of ‘I really can’t stand studying.’

Because of this mindset, I wasn’t nervous at all even while undergoing camera tests from various angles at Saesom.

“Hyeonoh-ssi, you’re not nervous at all. There’s no sense of intimidation.”

“Yes. I’m more easygoing than I look.”

“It’s not easy for an eighteen-year-old to be like this. Is it because you have some trainee experience?”

‘Just some trainee experience? I rolled in the industry for 6 years, you know.’

I didn’t bother saying such things out loud.

Saesom’s casting manager seemed to like me.

The public might not know, but I always tended to catch the eye of scouts.

Thanks to the intuition honed by starting my social life early, a signal went off: ‘Maybe I’ll become a Saesom trainee?’

When I mentioned I had done contemporary dance, even though it was only for 1 year and 6 months back in middle school, the casting manager’s expression brightened by about two levels.

Acting like a moderately friendly and obedient eighteen-year-old, contrary to my appearance, I absorbed the casting manager’s words.

The guy among the trainees said to be extremely good at dancing was definitely Son Minyoung, and the trainee my age who had joined a month ago was certainly Ji Cheonseong.

‘They’ll probably tell me to start coming to the practice room next week or next month.’

As I stood there idly, anticipating the expected words, the casting manager suddenly asked if I had time.

I couldn’t exactly say no, so I nodded. “Yes, I’m free.”

“Great. Then shall we say hello to the other trainees today before you go?”

“Pardon?”

“There aren’t many. And it seems best for Hyeonoh-ssi to start tomorrow anyway.”

“Pardon?”

“I said it would be good for you to start tomorrow.”

“Ah… Yes.”

‘Even a rotten fish is still a sea bream, they say…’

It seemed I was the sea bream.

I really became a Saesom trainee.

Life is indeed worth living twice.

“You’re the one… who suddenly came for an audition.”

Caught by someone who looked like staff, I was taken around various practice rooms to introduce myself.

On a completely different level from the unknown small agency, Saesom’s practice rooms were above ground, not in the basement.

Forcibly hiding my reluctance, I reflexively bowed 90 degrees towards Son Minyoung, who greeted me warmly.

Son Minyoung waved his hands dismissively, pulling my upper body back up, saying why the formal greeting like between seniors and juniors when we’re all just trainees.

Among the late-teen youths standing behind Son Minyoung, one face stood out with overwhelming visuals, a face I never got used to seeing.

The sole survivors of a failed boy group from an unknown small agency until recently had truly met again at Saesom.

Seeing Bambi’s father’s eighteen-year-old self again brought a fresh wave of emotion.

‘Really, how could he think of debuting with Overflash with a face like that?’

Ji Cheonseong stared at me for a long time, then turned his head away first when our eyes met.

I hadn’t expected a grand welcome, but not even a sign of recognition was quite disappointing.

‘We’ll have chances to talk later.’

I planned to size things up a bit and then confront Ji Cheonseong, so I didn’t make an effort to acknowledge him first either.

When the staff member said I would start practicing with them from tomorrow, the expressions of several trainees visibly hardened.

Back at the unknown small agency, I didn’t have many problems because I had more trainee years, but now that I was a stone that had rolled in like this, it was obvious I couldn’t avoid the hazing.

Furthermore, Ji Cheonseong had joined a month ago, and now I had smashed through Saesom’s doors via an unofficial audition, not a public one.

It certainly wouldn’t look good to the trainees who had been there longer.

They would probably see me as a NEW obstacle on the path to debut.

“I will work hard, please take good care of me!”

I deliberately greeted them full of fighting spirit.

The cute hazing of downy-faced late-teen youths wasn’t particularly scary.

From now on, I just had to act like someone who drowned their perceptiveness in beef soup along with rice, and not bat an eye even when faced with passive aggression.

The truly scary part lay elsewhere.

‘What am I going to tell my homeroom teacher after saying I’d get my act together and study?’

That was actually the scariest thing.

From now on, I should never joke about becoming a civil servant.

Ji Cheonseong didn’t speak to me first after that either.

When I greeted him, he would respond with a nod just polite enough not to be rude and quickly slip away.

Even when Son Minyoung, who had taken on the leader role among the trainees, deliberately tried to connect us, saying it would be good for us to be friendly since we were the same age and joined a month apart, Ji Cheonseong skillfully avoided moments when we would be left alone together like an eel.

I tried hard not to think, ‘What’s with this guy?’ inwardly, but when Ji Cheonseong continued to act distant towards me the next day, the day after that, and even after a full week had passed, I couldn’t stand it anymore.

‘Why is he avoiding me?’

Searching my hazy memories, Ji Cheonseong was quite shy initially during his trainee days at the unknown small agency in the previous life too.

It felt like he was intentionally trying not to form attachments.

But his shyness was his problem; I had many questions, so I decided to just charge ahead like a bulldozer.

If he told me to come to Saesom, he should promptly acknowledge me when I arrived, saying, “You’re here.”

During the short break after dance training, I abruptly stood up from among the sprawled-out trainees and pointed towards Ji Cheonseong, who was quite far away.

“Ji Cheonseong. Come to the convenience store with me for a bit.”

At the mention of the convenience store, the lounging trainees started calling out the names of drinks or ice creams they wanted, one by one.

“Hyeonoh, I need to manage my weight, so get me a Coke Zero.”

“Uh, uh, then get me a Candy Bar.”

Nodding amidst the quickly rising clamor, I sent Ji Cheonseong a hand signal: there’s no escape this time, follow me quickly.