Ugh…
My face aches.
My head throbs.
In fact, my entire damn body is screaming in pain.
The moment sobriety hits is always agonizing.
Dizziness spun my head.
Nausea churned in my stomach.
I felt on the verge of vomiting.
A pounding headache resonated through my skull, doubling the misery of waking up.
It was as if the alcohol had granted my headache a ‘final damage increase’ buff (TL Note: A gaming term referring to a significant boost in damage output).
Regardless, it was far from a pleasant feeling, as it always was.
Bzzzt— Bzzzt—
“Ugh… who is it?”
It was then.
A strong vibration against my face prompted me to lift my head from the keyboard and sit upright.
My face throbbed, likely bearing the deep indentations of the keyboard.
“……”
Squinting through sleepy eyes, I surveyed my surroundings.
The broadcast had ended.
A beer can lay half-spilled.
And there was my old phone, buzzing insistently since moments ago.
My phone.
My cell phone.
My own phone…
[Incoming Call – Boss]
…Why is that name showing up?
“Huh.”
My foggy mind suddenly cleared.
Simultaneously, the incessant buzzing of my phone abruptly ceased.
[Missed Call]
[Boss (104)]
“…Are you kidding me?”
104 missed calls?
What in the world happened?
There’s no way the Boss would call me this frantically unless…
‘Umm… what are they saying…? I’m not drunk…’
…Ah.
‘Just one more can… I’ll just have one more can and then go…’
Ah, yes.
‘Hmph…’
Ah, no.
“Nooooooo!!”
Realizing the gravity of the situation belatedly, I hastily grabbed my phone and called the Boss.
After two rings, the Boss picked up.
–……
Silence.
In that silence, so profound it seemed to freeze my very thoughts, I struggled to speak, my voice tinged with unease.
“B-Boss…?”
–…What.
“Well… you see…”
…Yeah.
I’m screwed.
I’m absolutely, unequivocally screwed.
That tone, it’s the one she uses when she’s genuinely furious.
And when her old ‘Choi Nokcha’ habits surface, the Boss’s venom and toxicity ‘Gigantamax’ (TL Note: A Pokémon term referring to a temporary, powerful transformation).
Simply put, every word I uttered from this point on could be a landmine.
I felt as though I was treading on thin ice, and cautiously, I opened my mouth.
“Well… yesterday I was…”
–Enough.
Just check NewTube, quickly.
“N-NewTube…? Why NewTube all of a sudden…?”
At the Boss’s command, I quickly turned on my computer and accessed NewTube.
[Who drinks 13 cans of beer on stream?]
[120K views • 9 hours ago]
[???: I’m not drunk…]
[1.7K views • 1 hour ago]
[Shocking) VTuber causes incident drinking on stream]
[40K views • 7 hours ago]
[“Have naughty dreams” — Frequency falling asleep at climax]
[1.35M views • 2 years ago]
[Heavy Drinker]
[72K views • 2 hours ago]
[Eyes unfocused, speech slurred, but definitely not drunk]
[11K views • 3 hours ago]
[Doesn’t this bastard even go to the bathroom?]
[8.5K views • 47 minutes ago]
[No reply yet❓💦 Old Man’s Phrase😁❗]
[570K views • 3 months ago]
[……]
[…]
“Are you serious??”
Faced with a deluge of familiar faces popping up in the algorithm, I was utterly speechless.
All of that… those are all my videos?
…Really? All of them?
It’s only been a day since I ended the stream…?
I quickly navigated to my channel to check the subscriber count.
[Shasha]
[157K Subscribers]
Was it the aftereffects of the algorithm?
Just yesterday, my subscriber count was in the low 100,000s, but now it had skyrocketed to nearly 160,000.
Such rapid growth was unprecedented among VTubers, almost excessively so.
–…I’ve been agonizing over what to do with you.
Then, the Boss, who had been silent, spoke again.
–I allowed you a drinking stream for your birthday, and then you suddenly went wild, drinking 13 cans by yourself.
I called over a hundred times, but you had your phone on vibrate and didn’t answer.
“……”
–And then, oh dear?
You got so blackout drunk you passed out face-first on your keyboard?
A VTuber?
During a half-cam stream?
While the broadcast was still live?
What if I hadn’t been able to end the stream remotely?
Huh?
“…I apologize.”
I quickly bowed my head in apology.
The Boss continued.
–You should consider yourself lucky that you went viral (TL Note: ‘tteoksang’ refers to a sudden surge in popularity or virality).
If this broadcast hadn’t gone well, today would have been Shasha’s dishonorable graduation day.
“B-But wouldn’t it be fortunate that it wasn’t listed as a controversy on Namuwiki…?”
–It’s been immortalized.
This morning.
If you’re curious, perhaps you’d like to make content out of reading the ‘Shasha/Controversies and Incidents’ section?
“…I apologize.”
So, it’s been immortalized…
Well, it was somewhat expected.
Even if not a full-blown controversy, it certainly qualified as an incident.
Maintaining the call with the Boss, I quickly checked public opinion on the online communities.
[☆ Shasha falls asleep after drinking 13 cans of beer on stream]
[Posted by: Anonymous(118.235)]
(Clip of Shasha face-planting on her keyboard and snoring)
It’s real.
[Comments]
–Is this for real??
–13 cans? Seriously?
–No way, it must be a lie… How can anyone drink 13 cans…?
└lol true
└At that point, you’d probably piss yourself
–Crazy b*tch… A truly crazy b*tch…
–There are so many crazy ones among Greenlight’s second generation.
└First gen isn’t easy either;;
└Lily and Shasha are both legendary together
└”They’re troublemakers, but they’re the strongest”
–Shasha’s been riding the algorithm, so her viewership has exploded…
–Best dopamine hit of the year
–The Boss, Choi Nokcha, forcibly ending the stream at the end was legendary lololol
└lol, she couldn’t see the frantic calls and chats
└It was a truly insane dopamine laughter trigger
└Boss… we’re sorry on her behalf…
“……”
Okay, judging by the reactions, it doesn’t seem like I’ve hit rock bottom.
Public opinion seems better than I expected.
Honestly, I thought there’d be at least one comment like, ‘That b*tch who got blackout drunk on stream, face-planted on her keyboard, and passed out.’
Ah, perhaps those kinds of comments are lurking in darker corners of the internet.
Still, I don’t want to suffer any emotional damage, so let’s stop browsing the communities here.
The Boss then sighed and spoke to me.
–You’re on an alcohol ban starting today.
“Huh? What did you say?”
An alcohol ban?
Did I just hear ‘alcohol ban’?
Not ‘this week,’ but an ‘alcohol ban’ meaning no drinking at all?
Surely she doesn’t mean a complete ban on alcohol, does she?
–Why.
What’s the problem?
“Th-This is unfair! It’s tyranny!”
Boo, this is blasphemy!
To me, alcohol is a god, beer is the golden blood of the Earth God, it’s mother’s milk, it’s holy water.
Therefore, to forbid me from drinking alcohol means nothing less than death…
–…Can you really say that after seeing what you did?
“Oh, come on, Boss, honestly, you were happy to see the subscriber count go up, weren’t you?”
–That’s obviou— no, it’s not.
Hey.
Aren’t you going to apologize properly?
The Boss cleared her throat, trying to hide her satisfaction.
–Ahem… Anyway.
I’m not asking for something unreasonable, am I?
“Aaaang.”
–I didn’t say don’t drink at all.
You just can’t drink on stream.
“Aaaaang~”
–…What’s with the whining?
Has the alcohol caused brain damage?
Tsk, that didn’t work.
In that case, I have no choice but to logically present my argument.
“Boss, you saw how insane the ‘aggro’ (TL Note: A gaming term referring to drawing attention or provoking a reaction) was.
Can you really give up this high?
No, you can’t, right?”
–…That’s true.
“Aargh… I can’t go back to my old self anymore… Having tasted the thrill of ‘drinking streams,’ I’ve become a body that can no longer be satisfied with boring, dull regular broadcasts~”
–……
Feeling the Boss’s chilling gaze through the receiver, I awkwardly cleared my throat and stopped my antics.
The Boss let out a deep sigh and continued.
–Haa… No.
Who knows what other trouble you’ll cause.
This time, it was pure luck that I was watching; what would you have done to fix it if you were alone?
“It’s fine, it’s fine.
I know my limit now, so I can adjust accordingly.”
I truly meant those words.
Frankly, when I was in a male body, I’d never truly gotten drunk, so I didn’t know my alcohol tolerance.
It was more like an issue of having too high a tolerance.
After all, back then, I could drink ten bottles of soju and merely feel, ‘Oh, am I a little tipsy?’
Becoming a woman, at least, meant I could now get somewhat drunk even with beer.
Of course, I never imagined that ‘tolerance’ would mean 13 cans of 500ml beer.
In liters, that’s 6.5L, isn’t it?
Isn’t that practically the human lethal dose?
Anyway.
“Oh, come on, really.
Please.
Okay? I won’t drink more than 10 cans.”
–…1 can.
“Eheheh~ One can won’t even get me tipsy.
You saw how coherent I was up to five cans, didn’t you?”
–Then 2 cans.
I pleaded with the Boss.
“Oh, please.
8 cans.”
–3 cans.
“While you’re at it, how about 6 cans…?”
–4 cans.
That’s final.
“Seriously, dead last.
Just one more can for the absolute last…”
–Do you want to be punished?
Ugh, I’m going to mess this up.
“Okay, four dollars (TL Note: A humorous reference to a meme where a negotiator demands ‘four dollars’ for a deal).
Thank you.”
Thus, after a dramatic compromise, my in-stream drinking limit was set at four cans of beer.
And so, it was a happy ending, a happy ending~ (TL Note: ‘Medetashi medetashi’ is a Japanese phrase used to signify a happy ending, often found in traditional tales or narratives.)
Though it still feels a bit too little.
I mean, I need at least five cans for my liver to even notice…
“Um…”
–If you try to negotiate one more time, I’ll really expel you.
Four cans is already plenty.
You’re going to be drinking 500ml cans anyway, aren’t you?
“…Darn it.”
She was right.
After all, the smallest beer cans in my house were 500ml.
Four cans would amount to 2 liters.
However, there was one thing the Boss overlooked.
The fact that beer cans also come in 740ml sizes.
But if I had pointed that out explicitly, my precious four cans might have been reduced to three, so I kept my mouth shut and remained silent.
The Boss continued.
–Haa… Just thinking about you guys makes me sigh endlessly.
How do you kids manage to cause such novel trouble every single time?
“It just means we have star power.”
–…Right.
I shouldn’t even bother.
Anyway, you won’t be able to stream today because of your hangover, so get some good rest and prepare well for tomorrow’s collaboration stream.
“I have a collaboration stream tomorrow?”
This was the first I’d heard of it.
…No, did I hear about it before?
I can’t quite remember.
–…You’ll be in big trouble if you’re already forgetting things.
You have a collaboration stream with Lily tomorrow, don’t you?
“Ah, yes.
That’s right… with Lily…”
Of all people, Lily?
That crazy, psychopathic lesbian?
I have to do a collaboration stream with her?
I had a hunch why I couldn’t remember.
It must have been such a shocking memory that I subconsciously erased it.
“Oh… um.
That’s right.”
–…You do remember, right?
“Yes.”
As I replied reluctantly, the Boss spoke as if she understood.
–Then prepare well.
And rest.
[Call Ended]
[4:58]
“……”
As always, the Boss hung up immediately once her business was concluded.
I could somewhat understand why people called her ‘Teto-jyeo’ (TL Note: A Korean slang term, ‘Teto-jyeo’ (테토녀), refers to someone who is quick to hang up the phone, like a character from a game or anime).
“Hmm…”
Anyway, was tomorrow the collaboration with Lily?
I distinctly remembered the collaboration content was a horror game.
But.
“I really don’t want to get involved with that crazy, passionate lesbian (TL Note: ‘Keu-ssa-re’ (크싸레) is a Korean slang term, a portmanteau of ‘crazy’ and ‘passionate lesbian’, often used humorously or exaggeratedly to describe a highly intense or obsessed lesbian character).”
It’s not that I dislike women.
No, women were much better than men.
But I was going to marry alcohol.
I was, you could say, Schrödinger’s married woman, with half my marital prospects already set…
Well, no matter how much I explained, Lily wouldn’t listen, would she?
“…Sigh.”
In that sense, let’s just start a stream.
The Boss told me to rest, but who cares? (TL Note: ‘Alppano’ (알빠노) is a Korean slang term meaning ‘who cares?’ or ‘not my business’, expressing indifference.)
Originally, for us at Greenlight, our company’s principle was to stream whenever we felt like it.
Of course, long breaks required a reason, but generally, the Boss took a hands-off approach to personal broadcasts.
“And now that I’ve seen that viewer count…”
[LIVE] [8,456 viewers]
During the drinking stream, the viewer count had instantly surged to approximately 8,500.
Considering my usual average viewership was around 3,000 to 4,000, it had more than doubled.
I couldn’t just ignore such an insane surge.
I had to quickly jump on the bandwagon of virality while the pot was still boiling hot.
And the only thing I could do to ride this wave was to start a stream.
After all, NewTube and other platforms were well taken care of by the company.
But before that…
“First, I need to wash up.”
And get rid of this hangover.
As the tension eased, my body felt like it was going to die again.
“…Ugh.”
Clutching my throbbing head once more,
I staggered from my computer and headed to the bathroom.
****
That evening.
I started my stream as soon as 8 PM hit.
[LIVE] [7,514]
–Explain yourself
–What happened yesterday?
–Explain
–How dare you show your shameless face
–Explain yourself
–Isn’t this bastard going to explain?
–No explanation?
–Rock bottom on
–lololol
–Shall we hit rock bottom?
–Explainexplainexplainexplainexplainexplain
–Explain it
–I didn’t think that of you… Disappointed
–lol true
–Explain
–Rock bottom
–Public sentiment is hitting rock bottom
–Explain yourself
–Ex
–Plai
–N
–My
–Self
–N
–Rock
–Bottom
–Rock bottom
–Bottom
–Explain
And my home began to burn.
[Anonymous Supporter has donated 1,000 coins!]
–Is this a festival… no, a funeral?
“…Huh.”
This isn’t how it was supposed to go, is it…?
