This one really drives people insane…
Author: Admin
Why is there no news again…
(Squatting Kai-con emoji)
– Gourmand) Mmph mmph mmph, mmph!!
– Admin) You can speak.
– Gourmand) Damn it! Why are you stirring up trouble again?
– Admin) Honestly, aren’t you curious…? (Kai-con emoji covering its face in embarrassment)
– Elevator Ghost) Ah, damn it, are all the newbies wilting…?
– Actor Suicide) Everyone’s performance is indeed dropping, lol.
– Elevator Ghost) My dopamine levels are plummeting, ugh!!
– Addict’s Memoir) Isn’t the moderator responsible…? First, we need to unblock image attachments in the gallery right now…
– Admin) ? Are you going to leave again?
– Addict’s Memoir) I told you I’d only upload the truly perverted images?
– Admin) That’s precisely the problem!
As they waited for the newbie, whose news had long since ceased to reach them, they forlornly helped guide the newly arriving ones.
Spewing out nonsensical posts, they passed the time.
****
There were about twenty of them, but more were gathering.
They slowly advanced towards Eldras and me, forming a circle.
They were performing a ritual of unknown purpose.
A shiver ran down my spine at the sight of the grotesque ceremony, and watching it only worsened my mood.
‘How did they manage to deceive an elf’s senses and get here?’
I pushed that question aside for a moment.
Their gazes, which seemed to lick over my entire body, were far more unsettling.
They licked their lips as they watched me, making it undeniably clear they saw me as nothing more than a meal.
‘Do these bastards always act like this when they’re about to eat?’
“It seems you’ve piqued a little interest, haven’t you?”
The man wore an expression of predictable smugness.
Watching him shake his head with an air of resignation, I thought to myself,
‘Is he an idiot?’
He seemed to believe I was interested in their words and their ritual.
Meanwhile, I was busy calculating how to survive this.
Preferably without suffering any emotional indignity.
I certainly didn’t want to end up beneath these bastards, performing emotional labor.
In short, I had no intention of begging for my life.
To that end, I began to assess my surroundings, one element at a time.
There were three factors that could overturn their advantage in numbers.
1. Numerous pillars offered ample cover.
2. The surroundings were dark.
3. I could simply lower the intelligence of these lunatics.
I had physically experienced factors 1 and 2 while moving around.
Just now, a suitable—and likely viable—strategy had occurred to me.
I decided to test factor 3.
“I don’t give men my attention. And what are you doing, crawling so sluggishly? You should pounce immediately.”
“This is a sacred ritual. Is it not a joyous occasion to have found new sustenance?”
‘So they’re openly treating me as food, huh?’
“Fine, I won’t see you as human either.”
“Not food, exactly, but you’re roughly a talking zebra.”
I toyed with the knife in my hand.
A sacred ritual… sounds like some kind of religion.
‘And for a religion, they’ve even coordinated their blood-spattered clothes to be all white?’
“Submit…”
“Submit…”
They all clasped their hands together and prayed.
As they drew strange patterns on their faces.
This is why mass hysteria is terrifying.
When everyone else is doing such insane things, I feel utterly alienated.
Yet, these bastards have a strong sense of unity.
If properly provoked, they’ll swarm you like madmen.
In other words, once they’re sufficiently riled up,
their collective intelligence will likely plummet.
‘How can I provoke them most effectively?’
The fundamental rule of combat is provocation.
For if the opponent loses their reason and rages wildly, my attacks will land more easily.
And as for humans who wouldn’t die if I hit them with my current strength…
I doubt there are any.
‘Damn it, are you guys ghosts or something?’
GRIP—!
Veins bulged prominently on the back of my hand.
{Stats}
Lv. 4
[ Slayer, God of Weapons (R) activated ]
Strength: 9 (+2) > 11 (+2)
Agility: 11 (+2) > 13 (+2)
Stamina: 14 (+3) > 16 (+2)
Mentality: 20 (+4)
My body’s muscles felt strange.
They twitched, then burned as if they might burst at any moment.
I felt as if I could do anything.
Yet, I did not grow overconfident.
First, I gave instructions to Eldras, whose role would be more meaningful in support and cover than in direct combat.
“If a gap appears, get into cover and prepare to provide support. The moment you have an opportunity, pierce that zebra’s head.”
“Zebra…? No, you’re making jokes in this situation?”
“Speaking in a way the enemy can’t understand is a basic tactic, you know?”
“I’m speaking softly, but they might still overhear.”
“Anyway, you can do it, right?”
“I’ll try.”
“You said you were a veteran (TL Note: A Korean slang term, ‘goinmul,’ referring to an experienced player or ‘old-timer’ in a game or community.) yourself, didn’t you?”
“Just once, break through those bastards.”
“I’ll figure out how to draw their aggro.”
“If you succeed at just that, I think we can survive.”
“I’ll give you this; eat it if you feel endangered. The effects will be incredibly potent.”
She received a healing potion.
The shimmering red liquid within made me feel reassured.
“If I drink it, my wounds will heal, right?”
“Yeah, but… if you go crazy, it’s not my fault.”
‘Good, whatever it is, my chances of survival just increased.’
‘Going crazy probably means it has effects like a morphine-based painkiller, right?’
‘…Isn’t this amount dangerous?’
As I looked at her, a faint doubt lingering in my mind, the man spoke, perhaps sensing my distraction.
“Brother, resistance is futile.”
“Can’t you just let us go?”
“Of course not.”
‘Damn it, I was an idiot for even asking.’
Grotesque figures began to emerge from the surroundings in earnest.
Some had gags in their mouths, and most wore clothes roughly patched with white cloth.
Their most dangerous-looking weapons were bats.
Large nails were embedded in them, and a single piece of flesh oozing from one made my stomach churn.
Roughly fifty, at a quick count.
It was my first time facing such a large group.
“You will become one with us!”
“Submit…!”
“Submit to that being!”
Despite approaching within visible range,
they did not rush in recklessly.
‘Was it because of the knife in my hand?’
‘Or were they reacting to Eldras drawing her bowstring?’
“Resistance, is, meaningless.”
Situations like this were always the most troublesome.
It’s exhausting to fight against those who move with such coordination as individuals.
“Have you ever actually experienced resistance? You’re acting like this because you haven’t seen any real resistance, you fools.”
I decided to act audaciously.
Raising my voice intentionally so they could all hear.
“Is that so? I’m indeed looking forwa—”
“By the way, are you some kind of devout apostle?”
I openly cut him off.
As the man raised his hand, the approaching figures halted in place.
He cleared his throat, then spoke in a hoarse voice, as if delivering a long speech.
“We are servants of the Great One. Under their dominion, we will not starve, nor will we have to fight strange entities.”
The man genuinely began to laugh, as if proud.
His devoted expression gave me an eerie feeling.
“Oh really? How impressive.”
I had a rough idea.
Of how to provoke them to gain everyone’s aggro.
“Are you interested? Coincidentally, we are in need of strong men. Of course, women are, without exception, sustenance.”
‘They kill women and spare men?’
‘Isn’t it usually the other way around? These crazy cannibals.’
“That’s a palate only abominations would enjoy. You guys haven’t tasted ramen, have you?”
“More glorious than that, the most honorable meal is humanity itself.”
“I suppose so.”
As I sneered, the man’s expression brightened slightly.
He seemed to think we were understanding each other.
Eldras seemed to be feeling uneasy.
‘I’m not going to abandon you and run, you fool.’
To her, who was subtly trying to stick closer to my side, I gave another reassuring glance.
‘Good.’
While religions are usually easy to provoke, I decided to gather at least a minimal amount of information first.
I subtly signaled, and Eldras took a sharp breath.
Then she lowered her stance and drew her bowstring.
“What’s their name?”
“…That cannot be spoken. Do you dare covet the Great One’s revered name?”
“Then what’s their domain?”
“Domain…? The Great One presides over the hunger of life. Please do not express it with such crude words.”
He reacted as if his own parents had been insulted.
The surrounding reactions were similar.
‘Hmm, so they’re treated with reverence, huh?’
‘Alright, in that case.’
I cleared my throat for a moment and asked,
“Is that being a woman?”
At my question, the man momentarily wore an incredulous expression.
Even the slowly approaching cultists were bewildered.
As the murmuring grew louder, the man dramatically waved his hand.
“Gender is merely an inferior concept before the Great One.”
He seemed quite flustered by my question about the being’s gender.
The estimate, it was clear.
I began to slowly move in one direction beforehand.
The cannibals surrounding me gradually shifted towards the direction I was moving.
To put it another way,
‘They’re leaning to one side.’
The more they subtly gathered to one side,
the less dense the manpower would be on the opposite side.
If they were to charge, that would become my escape route.
‘Good, so far, everything is going according to plan.’
“No. It’s obvious that ‘Great One’ is a very beautiful woman. Definitely.”
The man frowned for a moment, then tilted his head.
He then fiddled with his clothes as if in thought, before asking,
“Why do you think that…?”
I grandly loosened the tension in my wrists and ankles.
All eyes focused on me, and the man stared at me with lifeless eyes.
After pretending to excessively survey my surroundings for a moment, I said,
“Because that’s the only reason creepy bastards like you would worship them, you idiots. If they were ugly, would you have followed them?”
I tapped my palm with my fist, emphasizing my point once more.
Just in case they hadn’t fully grasped it.
Upon hearing such blasphemous words against their faith, their eyes changed.
“Wor-ship…? What do you mean by that…?! Our reason for following the Great One is not some superficial appearance…!!”
“Hey, hey!!”
In provocation, interrupting is the most basic of basics.
Just before his expression could fully contort, I immediately cut him off again.
To the man, whose hands trembled with a look of injustice and simmering rage, I continued.
“Aren’t you just copying some other religion anyway? They extort a ton of offerings from you, don’t they? That’s a characteristic of a cult, you fools.”
“O-offerings?! What nauseating words are those you speak!”
Anger, when delayed, always erupts with greater force.
He seemed to be attempting a rebuttal, but unfortunately, my voice was louder than his.
Perhaps sensing the atmosphere around him gradually shifting against him,
he tried to argue, his face gripped by a sense of crisis.
“Open your eyes! If you lose all your property deeds and end up on the streets, then you’ll understand! That God is dead!”
As if the information entering his brain had caused an error, the man slightly opened his mouth and stared at me.
Confusion spread through the surroundings.
Even if it wasn’t necessarily about money,
cults inherently demand something endlessly.
The cultists exchanged glances, each seemingly having realized something.
Perhaps sensing the cultists’ unease,
he yelled, his face flushing crimson.
“We!! Are not constrained by mere material possessions!! Our faith alone is our driving force!!”
He must have really hated the insult of being called a cult that collects offerings.
He shrieked at the top of his lungs.
“D-do not dare insult us with the filth of money…!”
His voice was hoarse, half breath, and it made him seem a little pathetic.
Even when I spoke normally, my voice was already louder than his.
The cultists cautiously glanced around.
As I shouted that their clothes weren’t rags for no reason, the unrest gradually spread.
“Do not listen!! Everyone, that man—!”
“Hold on!”
“You would do well not to provoke my, our faith, so recklessly…!”
“Just one more thing, finally!”
The man jutted out his chin, as if daring me to continue.
His patience was extraordinary.
‘That’s the kind of person who could lead a pack of cannibals, I suppose.’
Of course, I had absolutely no intention of becoming like him.
Silently, I gripped the knife tighter.
And then, in a mocking tone, I delivered my final remark.
“I’m quite good at, you know, ‘night work.’ If the Great One is a woman, how about she specially recruits me?”
Though, of course, I’d never even held a woman’s hand before.
‘Damn it, this better work, right?’
‘Was that too much?’
‘No, these are bastards who want to make a fruit punch (TL Note: ‘Hwachae,’ a traditional Korean fruit punch.) out of my head.’
‘If their leader is someone followed by such people, they deserve this kind of treatment.’
“…Night, work… You, what…?”
‘It probably worked, didn’t it?’
I thought it would be more effective than just hurling insults.
I was a little nervous because my opponent was speaking so courteously.
‘Haha, did you really think such provocation would work?’ If he had come back with something like that, it would have been a bit dangerous.
“Why, are you afraid that I’m too good, and the Great One’s attention might shift to me?”
Just in case, I added the most crucial part.
The final punchline: ‘Are you scared?’
A brief silence hung in the air.
“……..”
And judging by his expression,
“Everyone, bring that man before my eyes. Immediately…! What are you doing?! Charge!!!”
The provocation was a resounding success.
Like a tsunami, the enraged cannibals and cultists surged towards me.
Horribly grown nails, filthy teeth, all sorts of weapons crafted to crush people.
They wielded them, rushing at me like madmen.
WHIZZ—!!
And the sound of wind, instantly tearing through their ranks,
screamed past my ear like an arrow.
“Even if you have to cut off his limbs, bring him before my eyes right now…!”
THWACK—!
Eldras, who had clearly slipped through the gap I created with impressive skill,
landed an arrow squarely in the man’s head.
There was indeed a point to all that provocation.
‘Let’s see whose limbs get cut off.’
To start with successful provocation and an arrow embedded in the head of what appeared to be their commander?
Could there be a better beginning?
“Damn it! Let’s do this, you cannibal bastards!!!”
It begins.
Since the triggered first strike yielded good results,
I would follow the strategy I had laid out beforehand,
and further boost my chances of survival.
I will survive.
Absolutely!!
****
He pulled out the arrow precisely lodged in his brow and tossed it to the ground.
“You were… a dangerous human… It’s been a long time since my head felt so hot with emotion.”
He had never imagined that a mere tongue could so thoroughly disorient his cultists.
Even he himself had fallen for that man’s pace,
and had been dealt a humiliating blow.
Soon, veins surged around the wound, bubbling with blood.
Smoke rose from the injury, and even the mark where the arrow had struck vanished completely.
Swish, swish.
The man wiped away the blood with his sleeve, unable to conceal his displeasure.
He began to grind his teeth.
“How dare you…”
He decided to acknowledge his opponent.
And, with the power bestowed upon him by the Great One, he vowed to kill that man.
Absolutely.
He thought as much.
He had no intention of being defeated by a mere human who only knew how to wag their tongue.
A mere human.
Wait a minute.
…Is he, human?
“…!!”
Bleeding profusely from every part of his body, gasping for breath as if on the verge of collapse,
how could his fighting spirit not wane, but instead consume him?
“Ugh, cough! I’m really going to die.”
“N-no way.”
“Haa… you’re even more ‘no way.’ How are you still alive?”
He had thought he was a mere human.
A human who only knew how to infuriate others.
The moment he realized that assumption itself was his arrogance and miscalculation,
“Come here.”
“W-wait a minute…!”
“Just die.”
It was already too late.
