What is shame?
It refers to an uncomfortable emotional state felt upon recognizing a violation of one’s actions, thoughts, or ethics.
Unlike anger or sorrow, shame is distinct in that it does not originate from external sources.
Rather, it stems from self-reflective thought, contemplating how one appears when viewing oneself through the lens of others.
Given this, was the current situation one that warranted shame?
Absolutely not.
I had acted with moral integrity, and certainly hadn’t done anything to warrant self-reproach or disappointment in myself.
Thus, I remained steadfast.
– If, by any *chance*, my words caused any *discomfort*, I would like to *apologize* now~.
I was.
Steadfast.
– Oh, Seo-ha! It turns out you have such a tender heart, don’t you? With such a soft disposition, how will you ever survive in this harsh world?
It should have been so, yet…
Why, then, was this happening?
– Puhahaha! I truly never would have imagined it! How could someone I thought was so brazen do something so utterly adorable??
“I’m not… cute.”
– What? No? The chat is going absolutely wild, saying you’re f—king adorable! To be loved by so many people, congratulations! You’ve really made it in life now!
“Stop it…”
– What? You want me to stop? Did *you* stop when *I* told you to earlier?
“This, right now, must, absolutely…”
I would have my revenge.
Even if it meant sacrificing my very soul, I would avenge what had happened today.
My face burned with a furious heat.
It was certainly not from shame.
****
– Wahaha! See, everyone? First impressions aren’t everything, are they? Who in the world would have known Seo-ha had a side like this?
[LOL, for real! 😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[This is a f—king massive twist! 😂😂😂😂]
[LOL! I totally thought she was pure evil, damn! 😂😂😂😂]
[My mind is blown, for real! 😂😂😂😂]
[Kang Nari’s (TL Note: A streamer mentioned in the chat) viewers who missed this live lost half their lives, for real!]
“…Actually, I knew the broadcast was on, and it was just an extension of the prank from earlier…”
– Right, right, Seo-ha. Your words are correct, dear…
[She says, ‘What should we do?’ 😂😂😂😂]
[Yeah, yeah~ We’ll believe you! 😂😂😂😂]
[Your voice is f—king genuine right now! 😂😂😂]
[When you ‘apologized’ earlier, your voice was so lowered and apologetic that anyone could tell… but if you say so, then it must be true, hehehe.]
[Anyone can see that’s a sudden excuse; does she really think it’ll work? 😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[The fact is, even *this* makes her unbelievably cute! 😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[She’s my wife.]
My hands and feet trembled uncontrollably.
I felt an urge to storm out, right then and there, and let out a satisfying scream into the empty air.
No, perhaps it would be better to burrow under my blanket and only emerge once everyone had forgotten this incident.
– What’s wrong, Seo-ha? Did you get upset? Is it because everyone keeps teasing you about your ‘apology’ – *pfft* – being exposed?
“Are you truly intent on making an enemy of me…?”
– Everyone!! Our small, cute Seo-ha is so sad! Please comfort her before she starts boo-hooing!
“Who’s boo-hooing!…”
[Aw, poor thing 😭😭]
[She was so embarrassed 😭😭😭]
[So sad 😭😭😭]
[Don’t make my wife cry 😭😭😭]
[😭😭😭😭😭😭]
I had to admit it honestly: I couldn’t endure it any longer.
Remaining in this voice chat messenger would only turn me into a panda in a zoo exhibit.
That villain, who had exploited my vulnerability with such a despicable trick, would never release me now that I was in their maw.
“Just you wait and see…”
– Puhaha, perfect! I’d love to know someone as entertaining as you for a long, long ti—
Ding!
Like a defeated villain making their escape, I uttered one final remark before fleeing the messenger.
An unprecedented roar of laughter erupted from Im Chan-ho’s (TL Note: A male streamer) broadcast on my phone.
I hated the sound, so I flung the phone onto my bed.
Though, I did toss it carefully, mindful that breaking it would be troublesome.
Finally, silence descended.
In that stillness, I curled myself into a small ball.
My already small body seemed to shrink even further, allowing me to comfortably fit into the dark space beneath my desk.
It was a cramped space, as if isolated from the rest of the world.
I named this place ‘the mouse hole.’
Burrowed within my makeshift den, I diligently suppressed my turbulent emotions.
My own words kept replaying in my mind, causing my fingers and toes to clench involuntarily, yet…
After about an hour of staying hidden like that, I gradually returned to my senses.
“Revenge, then.”
The most effective way for a person to overcome confusion is to set a new goal and dedicate themselves to it.
And recently, there was only one person who had earned my animosity.
Im Chan-ho. That thirty-something man who acted far younger than his age.
I swore I would absolutely repay him for what had happened today.
Though I lay on my bed with closed eyes, hoping to replenish my depleted mental energy, sleep utterly eluded me.
Only my innocent blanket suffered, kicked off the bed multiple times by my restless feet.
In times like these, I needed to bring out my hidden treasure.
I opened the refrigerator and retrieved what I had bought yesterday, a celebratory treat for receiving a hefty performance bonus from the boss.
Even before unwrapping it, my mouth began to water.
A convenience store white chocolate cake (with cocoa powder on top).
I had only gone to the convenience store to buy a new toothbrush, as I felt uncomfortable continuing to use Yoo Seo-ha’s old one, but for some inexplicable reason, my eyes kept drifting to the dessert display, and I had simply picked it up.
I had intended to savor it, making it last until its expiration date, yet I never imagined I’d devour it within a single day…
One bite, then.
“……!”
The sweet chocolate ganache and cake layers gently enveloped my tongue.
At the same time, I felt my gloomy mood subtly dissipate.
Indeed, the saying that something sweet is the best remedy for a bad mood wasn’t just idle talk.
Only after finishing the entire slice of cake was I finally able to fall asleep.
****
“Hello everyone! Good afternoon.”
[Hi]
[Chan-ho hi]
[Did you eat lunch?]
[You must be tired, but so diligent lol]
[Are you doing part 2 later this afternoon?]
[Are you doing a disciple CK (TL Note: Clan Kill, a type of team match in games) collab? Is my wife coming too??]
[He just started the stream and they’re already asking about part 2 😂😂😂😂]
“Lunch? Of course I’ve eaten.”
The current time was 1 PM.
As Im Chan-ho usually ended his broadcast at 1 AM, his average daily streaming time was close to 12 hours.
Consequently, many viewers admired his diligence.
“Today, I’ll be doing parts two and three. Seo-ha… she might come, I suppose? *Tsk*, I haven’t asked her directly, so I’m not entirely sure.”
[Ask her already!!!]
[We gotta finish beating her from yesterday! 😂😂😂😂]
[For real! 😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[Just let her come! 😂😂😂😂 Get ready for it! 😂😂😂😂]
[My mouth is watering like crazy! 😂😂😂😂]
“Right? Seo-ha is not only good at hitting, but she also has a great sense of impact. Seriously, she says she’s not going to stream? She’s genuinely talented.”
[For real]
[F—king agreed! 😂😂😂😂]
[I wonder if she’d do reactions if she got donations?? Seriously curious.]
[Honestly, she doesn’t even need to turn on her cam, I just wish she’d start streaming…]
[Agreed, her way of speaking is so f—king funny! 😂😂😂]
[If Seo-ha-nim (TL Note: ‘nim’ is an honorific) started streaming? I’d ditch this ugly male streamer’s broadcast like trash and totally become her ‘yuksu’ (TL Note: A slang term for an overly devoted fan, often with negative connotations of being a ‘simp’).]
[Chan-ho’s mug (TL Note: ‘다라이’ (darai) is a derogatory term for face, like ‘mug’ or ‘ugly face’) is pretty brutal, though….]
– Nari Yuksu (TL Note: A fan of Nari) donated 3,000 won!
[I’m a viewer from Nari’s (TL Note: Kang Nari) room, and I’ve been holding my breath until Seo-ha-nim starts streaming for over 130 hours now.]
“Well, if she has a main job, there’s nothing to be done… but personally, I’m greedy, you know? I really want to just make her debut as a streamer and do some regular collaborative content with her.”
[Even if she did something like that, she’d do it with Nari, not you, why would she stream with you??]
[Here comes that creepy gloominess unique to ugly losers again, isn’t it??]
[There’s a 10-year age gap, have some self-control.]
[She’s my wife, don’t touch her!]
[What? Turret yuksu (TL Note: ‘Turret’ here implies being overly protective and aggressive, combined with ‘yuksu’ for ‘simp’) have already appeared? 😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[Why are these guys simping for a woman whose face hasn’t even been revealed?? Are they idiots?]
– This viewer has been banned.
“No, you crazy old-timers. I don’t even know her face, so why are you pushing me in that direction?! And I’m not like that! If I really put my mind to it, I could get a girlfriend… *Tsk*, anyway. Stop spreading weird rumors.”
[Here comes the ‘If I really put my mind to it’ move, the 532nd style of the ‘Can’t Shoot’ Herbivore (TL Note: A self-deprecating slang term for someone who is supposedly attractive but doesn’t pursue relationships). 😂😂😂😂]
[Which season is this now?]
[Well, I’ve been hearing that line for 5 years now, for starters. 😂]
[Prove it already! 😂😂😂😂]
[Chan-ho exchanged his Triarkia skill for his looks… no choice there….]
– Runner-up Congrats donated 10,000 won!
[Are these bastards hating on Chan-ho or loving Seo-ha-nim??]
[Both.]
[Is that even a question?]
[Both.]
[For real lol]
“Ah, damn it, the chat’s gone chaotic again. I’ll just start a game.”
Like most Triarkia streamers, Im Chan-ho primarily streamed ranked games.
Regardless of any future content schedule, he always played games during the first part of his stream.
Today was no different.
His account had been neglected during the recent tournament preparation period,
so his main content was to raise his rank.
Having recovered some points before and after yesterday’s collaboration, his current score was 2,670 points.
His goal for today was to reach at least the high 2,700s.
However, it was currently midday.
This was a time when the already small number of top-tier users was almost nonexistent.
It was natural to expect a wait for matchmaking.
“It’ll take some time for matchmaking, so let’s talk until then… oh?”
Contrary to his expectations, he found a match less than 10 seconds after starting the queue.
Was it good luck?
To find a match so quickly, even at this early hour.
That feeling, however, turned to bewilderment when he checked his opponent’s username.
[Huh? That ‘Low HP Detector’…]
[What is it? It looks so familiar.]
[F—k! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[Was *this* what she meant by revenge yesterday? 😂😂😂😂😂]
[That’s Yoo Seo-ha’s ID! 😂😂😂😂😂😂]
“Seo-ha? What, a coincidence? No way. Hey!! You’re watching the broadcast right now, aren’t you?!”
[She’s openly sniping him! 😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[He said he was going to pass 2750 points today! 😂😂😂😂😂]
[Hmm, but he’ll probably win, right??]
[The world number 2 isn’t a joke, for real.]
[Agreed. Let’s see the skill he traded his looks for, go go go!]
“Answer me, Yoo Seo-ha!!”
The chat was filled only with laughter; no one believed to be Yoo Seo-ha made an appearance.
Ultimately, he failed to find the culprit and entered the game.
Both players chose the same main race.
Despite being targeted, Im Chan-ho honestly didn’t think he would lose.
After all, he was the STL runner-up.
[Low HP Detector]: hi
.
.
[Low HP Detector]: What a coincidence lol
“What coincidence?! You’re not watching my broadcast right now, are you?! Did I talk to you through chat?”
[Low HP Detector]: It’s telepathy.
.
.
[Low HP Detector]: Can’t Chan-ho-nim use it? You don’t hear me talking to you?
.
.
[Low HP Detector]: Oh, right, only people in their twenties can use it. My bad.
This b*tch?
It was now clear that she had deliberately targeted him.
Her purpose must have been revenge for yesterday.
To avoid being easily defeated, he first had to make her turn off her stream.
“Seo-ha! Let’s not do stream sniping (TL Note: ‘방플’ (bangpeul) is a term for ‘broadcast play,’ where a player gains an unfair advantage by watching their opponent’s live stream)! Could you please turn off your broadcast?”
[Low HP Detector]: Why should I?
.
.
[Low HP Detector]: Even if it causes a controversy about ‘abuse’ later, I need to win first. lol
“So that’s how you want to play it, huh? Then… Seo-ha. Listen carefully. *Ahem ahem!* If, by any *chance*~, your feelings were hurt~, I would like to~ apologize~, even now~.”
[Low HP Detector]: Ah.
[Low HP Detector]: I’ll turn it off. It’s off.
[Low HP Detector]: Stop it…
“Cut!”
The operation was a success.
Im Chan-ho was no longer afraid of Yoo Seo-ha.
Even if he took a beating, he now had a weapon in his hand.
[F—k! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[This is so f—king funny, seriously! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[She immediately became docile! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[Why is she so cute, seriously? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂]
[😂😂😂😂😂😂😂]
Even Im Chan-ho, who was teasing her relentlessly, couldn’t help but smile like a proud father.
Where else would he find someone with such great reactions?
In any case. The game had now truly begun fairly.
[Low HP Detector]: Just to be fair, I’m telling you this.
.
.
[Low HP Detector]: I saw your location. lol
.
.
[Low HP Detector]: 5 o’clock.
“Argh! Seriously! Then you tell me your location too!!”
[Low HP Detector]: Chan-ho-nim is the runner-up, so please give me a handicap.
.
.
[Low HP Detector]: Are you afraid of me?
“Huh? You said you turned off your broadcast, so how did you hear me?”
[Low HP Detector]: Oops.
[Low HP Detector]: lol My bad.
[Low HP Detector]: I’m really turning it off now.
“Hey!!”
The playing field was slightly tilted, but…
Regardless, the game had begun.
Im Chan-ho thought he could now fully concentrate on the game,
but that was merely an illusion.
An overwhelming barrage of chat messages began to shake his composure.
[Low HP Detector]: Chan-ho-nim. Do you know about the balance game that’s popular on SOFT these days?
Of course, he knew.
His name was usually included in most of those balance games.
For example…
Becoming a billionaire + Im Chan-ho’s face VS Becoming homeless Cha Eun-woo (TL Note: A popular and handsome Korean celebrity).
Having an IQ of 175 + Im Chan-ho’s face VS Not knowing how to write Korean but being Park Bo-gum (TL Note: A popular and handsome Korean actor).
It was always something like that.
[Low HP Detector]: Shall I suggest one too? ‘Becoming Chan-ho-nim, the STL runner-up, VS Just living as I was born.’
.
.
[Low HP Detector]: Hmm… Personally, I’d definitely choose the latter… Oops, almost crossed the line.
.
.
[Low HP Detector]: Anyway, it’s the same for you, Chan-ho-nim, no matter which one you choose. lol
“*Grrr*, *grrr*…!”
She was clearly doing this on purpose.
Im Chan-ho’s teeth began to grind.
