[Title: You Crazy Bastard, Let Me Out!!!!!!!!!!!]
[Mint Soboro Bread]
[Content]
Where in the world did that psychopathic High School Grad Middle Schooler disappear to??
[Comments]
– What’s up with them now?
– No, seriously! I just teased them a little about their enhancement breaking, and they used some bizarre bug to trap my character in the Sky Arena, damn it!
– ?? That’s even possible? Lol.
– I genuinely can’t get out, damn it, hahaha!
[Title: Oh, Seriously, Please, Please!]
[Mint Soboro Bread]
[Content]
I have to do the raid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come back, you crazy bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Comments]
– This is so damn hilarious, lmao.
– Are you the one who just went viral on the Action RPG gallery? Lol.
– Seriously, how do they alone know such a bizarre and insane bug?
– Ancient veteran players usually know all sorts of bizarre and obscure bugs, but this, I genuinely have never seen before, wow.
****
A true man (TL Note: ‘Sangnamja,’ literally ‘real man,’ refers to a masculine, decisive, and often tough individual) always repays both kindness and grievances with equal thoroughness.
While I could tolerate Mint Soboro Bread teasing me about my failed enhancement, I could never, ever forgive him for achieving a +15 enhancement in one go.
Exercising my authority as Honorary Praetor, I sentenced him to indefinite imprisonment in the Sky Arena, and after personally executing the punishment, I logged out of the game, now beaming with satisfaction as I savored his struggles.
‘…Hehe.’
Realizing a laugh had involuntarily escaped my lips, I started, quickly scanning my surroundings, only to sigh in relief when I saw no passersby.
Of course, it couldn’t be helped.
The truth was, I had been driven out of my own comfortable sanctuary.
Initially, I had intended to tease Mint Soboro Bread for only a little while before letting him out, but, unfortunately, an unforeseen incident occurred, forcing me to abandon him and hastily flee outside.
‘…….’
My momentary amusement at his pitiful antics quickly faded as I recalled the current state of my home’s interior, causing me to shake my head in a suffocating wave of disgust, desperately trying to erase the memory from my mind.
‘I truly despise this.’
An assault of countless black forms, launched without the slightest warning.
While I had always disliked cockroaches, confronting them in my current body filled me with an indescribable terror, compelling me to grab only my wallet and smartphone before scrambling outside in a panic.
Even for me, in full Sangnamja (TL Note: ‘Sangnamja,’ literally ‘real man,’ refers to a masculine, decisive, and often tough individual) mode, some things simply couldn’t be done.
“Tesco, they’re taking so long…”
Immediately upon stepping outside, I had sent a distress signal to the pest control company, but I knew it would take them a considerable amount of time to arrive and exterminate the bugs.
This, then, was why I was aimlessly wandering outside, much like a lost dog.
I continued to walk, constantly casting furtive glances at my surroundings.
Having made such a hasty escape (TL Note: ‘Ppanseureon,’ a slang term meaning to ‘panties-run,’ implying a panicked, undignified retreat), I hadn’t managed to acquire proper protective gear, making it difficult to fully conceal my distinctive appearance with just a mask covering my lower face.
“…….”
‘Am I being overly conceited?’
But when one is this cute and adorable, isn’t it only natural to worry about attracting unnecessary attention?
Especially since I had recently gained quite a bit of popularity in Clam, it wouldn’t be all that strange if someone suddenly recognized me on the street.
And frankly, I was utterly unprepared to receive such public attention.
[Look over there, I told you it’s really them!]
[You’re… right? Why do they really look so similar?]
No sooner had the thought crossed my mind than I heard voices, causing me to flinch and my shoulders to tremble, as I braced myself, believing the inevitable had arrived and awaiting the imminent encounter.
However.
‘……?’
Contrary to my expectations, they merely walked past me.
Realizing I had made a grave mistake, my ears burned crimson, and just as I was about to flee the embarrassing situation, the two women, who had been glancing my way, turned around and began approaching me once more.
“Ah, excuse me, hello.”
‘Of course.’
For a fleeting moment, I had doubted my own transcendent cuteness, and now I felt foolish for it.
How could it have been a mistake?
I was, after all, such an adorable, lovely, charming, and conspicuous creature.
Attempting to evade people’s gazes with merely a mask might have been an act of sheer arrogance.
“Um, are you perhaps… someone who plays Clam?”
As I gave a slight nod in response to her question, the woman and her friend beside her began to squeal and fuss excitedly.
Then, with exceptionally earnest expressions, they presented a request to me.
“Would it be possible… to take a picture together? You’re truly so adorable that I immediately followed you! Of course, if not, that’s perfectly fine…”
A photo, then.
It felt a bit premature to reveal my face offline already, but I also wondered what harm it could do.
I was quite a distance from my home, and besides, the fact that I was Korean was already public knowledge.
Since they had recognized my cuteness with such keen observation, didn’t they deserve a small reward?
“…Should I strike a pose too?”
“Oh, thank you so much…! A heart pose, please!”
I joined hands with the woman to form a heart, and soon the flash of her phone camera gleamed.
As I was checking the photo we had taken, the other person, who had been with her, suddenly reappeared with two cafe drinks and placed them in the woman’s hand.
‘Oh…’
‘I wondered where they had suddenly disappeared to, but this was quite perceptive of them, wasn’t it?’
If they continued to display such utterly satisfying deference, I, too, was inclined to bestow even more favors upon them.
“Strawberry latte and brown sugar bubble tea, which would you prefer?”
“…The strawberry latte, then.”
“Understood! Here you go!”
It felt as if I were being served by capable retainers.
Though it was an experience I had never encountered before, this feeling was surprisingly not unpleasant.
*Slurp.*
Perhaps seeing me contentedly slurping my strawberry latte, the woman’s friend, who had been cautiously observing, began to make a hesitant request.
“Um, I’m sorry, but… would it be alright if I just stroked your hair once?”
“Good heavens, you fool, what are you saying! It’s not even an autograph, that’s far too rude.”
The woman who had taken the photo chided her friend, then, fretting that I might have been offended, offered her apologies.
I, too, initially intended to simply refuse, but then it suddenly occurred to me that such an attitude might be too ‘Hanamja’ (TL Note: ‘Hanamja,’ literally ‘low man,’ refers to someone who is unmanly, weak, or petty).
It’s not as if it would wear out, so why not just let them touch my hair?
“It’s fine to touch.”
“Oh! Thank you so much…! I’ll only touch it for a little bit, really!”
“Sure.”
The woman’s hand, as if caressing a precious treasure, gently stroked my hair, while her companion watched with an envious gaze.
Both women, evidently satisfied, then departed, leaving me alone to recall the recent sensation, my body squirming with a peculiar sense of emptiness.
‘…….’
‘To be praised as cute and have my head stroked… was surprisingly more pleasant than I had imagined!’
It was that soft, almost addictive pleasure I had felt when reading comments praising me in Clam.
I felt I could now understand, if only a little, why women went to such lengths to adorn themselves and display such charm and coquetry.
“No, no.
This was merely fan service.”
Immersed in an inexplicable disquiet, I entered a nearby store and purchased a hood that could properly obscure my face.
After wandering around for a considerable time, a text message arrived from the Tesco employee, confirming the job was complete; only then could I escape my brief excursion and head towards my longed-for home.
– High School Grad Middle Schooler: Yo, did you escape?
– Mint Soboro Bread: No, damn it! They don’t even check inquiries on weekends, and the raid deadline is in 40 minutes! I messed up, so please, just let me out!
– High School Grad Middle Schooler: Okay, I’m logging into the game.
I was going to let you out much earlier, but something suddenly came up and I had to leave;
– Mint Soboro Bread: Fine, please do it now, at least.
Please, save my +15 Mint Short Sword God, which I poured my very soul into raising…
I felt a pang of guilt towards Mint Soboro Bread, as it seemed I had unintentionally extended his punishment period.
However, seeing him subtly boast (TL Note: ‘Bitikjil,’ a slang term referring to showing off one’s achievements or rare items, often in a slightly obnoxious way) about his +15 weapon even amidst his pleas, I couldn’t help but feel inexplicably annoyed.
– High School Grad Middle Schooler: There’s a condition, though.
– Mint Soboro Bread: What is it, damn it!?
– High School Grad Middle Schooler: Promise to write a consistent post on the channel from now on.
Having thus negotiated by taking the Mint Short Sword God hostage, I granted his character a pardon from the Sky Arena, then waited with a smug expression for him to fulfill his promise.
[Title: Guys, Guys, Guys, What Do I Even Do??]
[Mint Soboro Bread]
[Content]
High School Grad Middle Schooler << This person seems ridiculously cute, seriously, what do I even do???
[Comments]
– What’s with this guy suddenly?
– Are you gay?
– No, I’m not;
– Then why?
– The fact is, High School Grad Middle Schooler is genuinely ridiculously cute.
– ;;
– Did Middle Schooler Ajusshi (TL Note: ‘Ajusshi,’ a respectful term for an older man, often used informally or humorously) reveal his face?
– Why are only you guys seeing it? Show me too!
– Can’t; too cute, it would cause a war;
– Are you crazy, lol.
By gradually spreading my cuteness in this manner, the day would surely come when the entire channel would be filled with my devotees.
With a contented expression, I closed the archive, then, setting the roach extermination spray by my bedside, I burrowed into my soft duvet, ready to sleep.
I clasped my hands together, fervently praying that those creatures would be utterly eradicated and never reappear.
